I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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