i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
