giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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