So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
