If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
