Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
