Your face is a jimmy john
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
