Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You can't just leave with hair like that
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
