sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
