weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We left the knife in your bed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
