I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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