lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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