why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
