My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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