my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
