Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
