How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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