I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
