first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
