The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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