so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
