I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
