Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
