Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
