Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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