you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
