I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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