Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
