the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
