Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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