I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
