I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
