Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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