Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
