There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
