she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
