I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
