someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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