i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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