That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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