So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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