You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
