Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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