another moral hangover. fuck.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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