They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
