I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
