the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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