Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sext me about skeletons
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
