Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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