Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
